This is me,

May Ling

These are

my girls

And this is my husband Steve

Hello from family Thomas!

I cannot tell the story of me without telling you the story of us so here we all are! My process of deschooling and decolonisation is deeply interwoven with their existance; when you get me you kind of get them too.
Our lives are not separated by school or work or play in the normal way because
1) we home educate (home schooling to those of you not in the UK), and in particular we do something known as self-directed education, unschooling, autonomous or consent-based education;
2) we work part-time and at home;
3) we share the parenting and household duties and bills in a way that feels equitable.
This ecosystem is not just made up of what we do, it’s also built on how we see the world and our place in it.

Our perspective is constantly evolving and deepening, but it’s based on these principles:


This is my number one. If something doesn’t sit right, then I take a step back to get a new perspective. If it feels niggly, then there’s something more for me to see.
I’m guided by spiritual integrity, a phrase coined by my friend Stan. It means I rely on my own internal navigation, not on what I think others expect of me.

Learning, and therefore transformation, is innate

When I watched my children learn to walk and talk it really became clear that learning is something we’re born to do. No one needs to be taught to learn.
Realisation is an intrinsic part of learning. When we realise something new it changes the way we see the world. The transformation can be small or paradigm shifting, but it’s possible because of our innate ability to have an insight.


My true north has always been objective, absolute truth. My perspective of life has changed drastically because I am (mostly) willing to let go of long held beliefs in order to see reality as it really is.
In the past this was because I didn’t want to be wrong. Now it’s because I have experienced the beauty of reality without any of my projections and once you get a taste nothing else will do.


The freedom to make meaningful decisions is fundamental to our happiness and ability to thrive. It’s the key to learning, experimentation and play. When we choose to do the things that light us up we shine brightly. And when we consent to do those things we’d rather not do, but that wisdom suggests we should, we bring grace, humility and attentiveness.
Of course, the understanding I coach with completely changed my life, otherwise I wouldn’t be using it. And it’s no exageration to say that the old me couldn’t have imagined the simplicity in my relationships, nor the ease, joy and beauty in my life today.

But what is more remarkable is that I am not an exception.

I know it’s possible for anyone to experience this scale of transformation, not because I was the worst case and you all can’t be as bad (ha ha!), but because I know that it’s an intrinsic part of being human.
You’re human, yes?
Then it’s just a matter of time and understanding.

“Life should be like wholehearted natural laughter.”

Sri Mata Amritanandamayi